Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Crabby Gardener

Yesterday, I gave myself a new title - The Crabby Gardener. There wasn't much reason to be crabby, besides my early step into puppy poop in the laundry room. You would think that having a fifth puppy in four years I'd get used to it. But no, each time it is a disgusting surprise that puts me in a brief, foul mood.

After finding my last pair of clean, thin socks, I braved the hot sun and finally got my herbs and flowers planted in pots. I don't put herbs in the garden for one reason: if I had to put on my mucks and head out while cooking, our food would be very, very bland. I like having them on my little front porch where I can snip what I need when I am cooking.

Before we started, the front yard looked lousy with bags of potting soil, piles of empty pots and a few of those little plastic containers of rapidly drying out flowers and herbs. Well, I barked at everyone and was a complete pain to be around, but my heroic family stuck by me and we now have flowers and herbs decorating the front of our house.

Except the pots that have only seeds. Which is most of the pots. But, the pots look good.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The Angry Knitter

So what do all of these animal postings have to do with knitting, you may ask. Well, my answer is, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing.""

The Angry Knitter" is my family's pet name for me. At least when I have yarn in my hand. As you can tell, we are a loving, sweet family. Gentle with eachother at all times.

Umm, no. Truth be told, sarcasm reigns, and we like it like that.

My husband dubbed me "The Angry Knitter" last summer when I, a new knitter, was trying to learn how to do a seed stitch. Non-knitters, this is a pattern that gives a raised stitch that looks like seeds. Knitters, stop chuckling and remember I admitted to being a newbie.

Anyway, I was reading a book called, Knitting (Teach Yourself Visually) by Sharon Turner, which is a pretty darn good book. However, she totally dropped the ball on the seed stitch, IMHO.

When you knit, the needle goes into the back of the stitch and the yarn is in the BACK. When you purl, the needle goes into the front of the stitch and the yarn is in the FRONT.That's all well and good, except that she thinks that simply because you know how to knit and know how to purl, you should know how to knit one then purl one stitch. Simple you think, huh? What the book fails to mention is that you have to move the yarn from front to back yourself. Otherwise you end up with what seems like a bazillion extra yarns on your needle.

Knitters, please stop giggling.

Anyway, it was a very hot day last June and I was leaning over reading this book and trying to knit one, purl one and just not getting it. My husband saw me looking hot and confused and, as only a spouse can do, assumed I was angry. Feeling bad for his wife and wanting to do something for me, he promptly stated, "Hey kids! Look at Mom! She's the Angry Knitter!"

And so I was dubbed.

I'm better when I crochet.

Free cats

Continuing the theme of farm animals, I respectfully submit today's post:
Two beautiful cats want to get out of the barn and get hair on your beautiful sofa.

First up, we have a lovely tortie female who we call Bandy, or Bandit. You can call her Dusseldorf, for all I care, as long as you treat her well. J She is about 2 years old. Here is a pic of said lovely cat:
I had her fixed and she is current on all her shots. Don't give her any more shots. She hates that.

Second, your prize for answering this ad could be one of the most beautiful cats I have ever seen. He is a gorgeous boy that looks like a Norwegian Forest Cat to me, but some people think he looks like a Maine Coon. Those people have no idea what a Norwegian Forest Cat is, of course, but to each his own opinion. We call him Dozer, he's about 8 years old and he is super friendly.
Here is a picture, and no, he doesn't usually look this ticked off:
Of the two, he is more likely to get lots of hair on your furniture - just in case that's your thing, I thought I'd let you know. He is also up-to-date on shots.

Both cats would prefer homes without prey-driven dogs like Australian Shepherds.

Free mean DEAD rooster

So, my hand was forced at the end of April:

I know it’s not Friday, but you’ve got to get him while he is (somewhat) fresh:
Free mean DEAD rooster, good for science class dissection
Or free mean DEAD rooster feathers, pure white (except around the bullet wound)

Also selling the rights to my upcoming memoir:
How I Survived a Mean Rooster Attack and Lived to Tell the Tale

This is a follow on to my journal article:
The Endurance Power of the Mean Rooster: A Case Study in Survivability of Blunt Object Trauma to the Male Chicken

And my motivational pamphlet:
Put Down the Semi-Automatic! You Can Kill a Mean Rooster In A Single Shot (with the right motivation)!


Free mean rooster

My attempt at giving away our mean rooster failed. On Fridays on my local homeschool list, we are allowed to post things for sale (or free). Here was my January 16 post:

I have a mean rooster who chases our kids. My husband doesn’t want to have to shoot him. Anybody want him?

P.S. Beautiful Pearl White Leghorn who may be published in an upcoming chicken book. One year old. Mean as heck.